so, in honor of my birthday, i got a Xanga account. which means, no more livejournal... i love my livejournal, but i like Xanga better. i'm gonna leave this account here, but i'm going to update with Xanga now. so, if you happen to read my livejournal, go read my Xanga instead!
My Xangamy tone:  flirty my tune: story of the year "razorblades" |
yay! i'm 16 now! that's awesome.
but i had to get up at 6:30 this morning, that wasn't cool. i did get a new computer chair though. woo! it's much more comfy, and it spins!
so i turned 16 last night talking religion with nick and nam. it was kinda odd... not so much with nick, cause i can understand a lot of where he's coming from, but nam has some weird ideas about religion. he didn't seem to understand that i hate christianity, and will never go back to it. oh well, he's entitled to believe whatever he wants.
so i'm gonna have to come up with something to do. cause it's my birthday! w00t!my tone:  happy birthday me! my tune: story of the year (cause yeah, i have this album now! go me) |
my birthday is tomorrow! yay me! so rick's parents came over with dinner for us tonight, and i got a cake and presents, from them and mom and rick and allie. i love presents! cash, gift cards, and cd's... just what i like to get.
yesterday i saw the village with manuel, and we came over here after. gee i love my basement...
i do not want to go back to band on tuesday. i just managed to leave all the stress behind, with the guard and stuff, and it's all gonna come rushing back on tuesday... grr! that sucks!
but i'm not too upset about school, i don't mind school. i like seeing all my friends, i guess i'm social that way. the classes don't really bother me. i wouldn't go so far as to say that i'm excited, but i'm not really bummed either.
so i'm gonna go watch tv for a while.my tone: content |
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Aug. 7th, 2004 @ 12:11 pm
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thank god that band camp is over! i don't think i could have survived anymore. i hate band camp, it puts me in an awful mood the whole time, mostly cause a lot of the other guard girls are just sucky, and bitchy, and just make me mad. so i'm sure that everyone is sick of me being pissed off all the time. but it's over, i'm ok now, happy!
the pool party was pretty fun, but it was so cold!!!!!! i love how it's hot all week, except the day of the pool party... oh well. we survived.
i'm probly gonna go see the village with manuel today. yay!!! allie saw it last weekend, and really liked it. and john d told me last night that it was really good.
speaking of john d, hahaha! i got to ride home with him... i think it's hilarious that there's so many girls in the band who are completely in love with him, and me (who is not in love with him) got to ride home with him last night, while they (who are in love with him) didn't. oooh the irony... well i didn't really ride with him, but we both got a ride from maygen, so it still counts. mwa ha ha... ok that's enough of that, i'm scaring myself.
dood, it is two days till my birthday. aaah! that's insane, i can't believe it's so soon. my aunt sent me a card, and it said "happy 16th! be careful driving" which i find amusing because, i'm not driving! i hate driving, it scares me.
well i better get offline cause manny's supposed to call me soon, so we can make plans.my tone: cheerful my tune: seether and amy lee "broken" |
man alive, never have i seen so much drama in the guard in one day. it was insane! so yeah, i got pissed and it was great... but i'm just trying to let it go, and not let it bother me anymore, cause i guess it's just not worth it. but grr! it still makes me mad. tomorrow has to be better, or i dunno what i'll do.
so yeah, that's all i really have to talk about. i hate it when band is my life... blah!my tone:  irritated |
aah i love stand-up comedians. my new favorite thing! yeah... ron white! bill engvall! demetri martin is my favorite though. he's genius... he plays the guitar! and sings and stuff, as part of his act... aaah snaps for comedy central. i'm enjoying this, i must remember to watch stand-up more often.
man alive, i don't wanna go back to band camp. blaaaah... i hate band camp!!!
i'm gonna go pout and wish i could call in sick.my tone:  blah |
yes, people get on my nerves. not all people, but quite a few people. like, that girl that still is in guard! she needs to be droppped! she doesn't know her work! she's pulling us down! *deep breath* i'm ok.
yeah, and then that "anonymous" person who left me a message last entry... rahr... but i'm not pissed, it just adds to the frustration that is building up on me... this had better get better by tomorrow...my tone: aggravated |
man i hate band camp... it's too bad i love being in band so much, cause i'm really getting frustrated. our guard has such a bad attitude in general. there are some of us that are working hard, but yeah, the majority just doesn't care enough. grrr...
on the other hand, zach is leaving tomorrow! i haven't really noticed his presence yet, and he's only gonna be here for one whole day! at least, while i'm here. *joy*
blah blah... i'm so tired and sore and blah blah blah...my tone: blah my tune: some commercial song |
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blah
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Jul. 25th, 2004 @ 09:50 pm
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so i had a pretty sucky afternoon. i don't want to talk about why it sucked, it just did.
but then i went to see catwoman with allie. it was pretty good. benjamin bratt... aaah... anywaiz yeah.
so i'm in an ok mood now. still not really happy, but not as depressed as i was.
i had the cleaning job from hell though. i was supposed to clean my room, and the cleaning just kept going and going and going...
but i found a new favorite song! it's "broken" by seether, with amy lee from evanescence. love it! listening to it over and over, cause that's what i do when i find songs i really love.
yeah that's all i wanna write about. i will probably write a private entry, in case anyone cares to know.my tone: okay my tune: seether and amy lee: broken |
yeah i really need something to do... i don't want to clean my room, which i'm gonna have to do anyway, but i'm procrastinating. i would practice my flag, but i'd have to go outside and it's hot out there! i was thinking manny might come over, but i dunno, since i went over there yesterday. my dad might say no. maybe later...
but yeah, i'm really happy. with everything... i had a great talk with manuel last night, and everything is finally falling into place with him. i can call him my boyfriend now, if that distinction makes any difference. but we're just really happy now. yay... i love it when everything just comes together like that.
speaking of manny... i need to call him back. i was supposed to do that a couple hours ago... so i'm gonna go do that.my tone: pleased my tune: vinyl, a dance station on vh1.com |
| » not too bad! |
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i'm in a better mood today! still sore, but band camp is over until monday, and i get to go over to manuel's, and i don't have to go to that stupid lake party thing tomorrow. my feet and butt and abs don't hurt as badas they did yesterday.
i learned some beautiful dance work today! it's just me and jennifer lusby and jennifer madison doing the really pretty part at the beginning, and it's going to be good. so i'm in a dance trio at the beginning of the ballad. how cool is that?!? i'm excited.
but i think i hurt jennifer madison's feelings today. me and jennifer l were goofing off and acting really preppy, and i said "oh my god, we're turning into cheerleaders! what are we going to do?" and i didn't realize jennifer m was right behind me... (she's a cheerleader). oops... i didn't mean that she was annoying, she isn't as bad as most of the other girls in our guard. oh well... she'll live.
so i'm gonna go shower so i can stretch then go to manuel's. i hope his mom doesn't kick us out of the house again... that would suck.
Jul. 23rd, 2004 @ 05:40 pm
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| » grumpy |
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grr. i'm sore. i'm tired. i hate band camp. i'm a grumpy bitch tonight. i'm going to bed.
Jul. 22nd, 2004 @ 11:04 pm
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| » i. hate. band. camp. |
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blaaaaaahh.... so sore. i'm all bruised from the dance we did. for 2 hours! that's insane...
but josh called me passive-aggressive today. so i looked it up, and i am so not passive-aggressive. click here for the traits i found for passive-aggressive people. that's so not me... but it's kinda making me mad. there's nothing wrong with me. yes i'm sarcastic and mean sometimes. yes i get angry easily. yes i tend to hide it when i'm mad and can sometimes be mean because i'm really mad. but i do not have a personality disorder. grrr... but really, why would you tell someone something like that? i am not overreacting, that's just mean.
great. now i'm pissed...
Jul. 21st, 2004 @ 05:44 pm
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| » home home again |
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aaaah.... soo sick of shrimp. i couldn't eat another one if you paid me. well, i guess it'd depend on the amount of money. but still! fun was had by all. i got sunburnt on tuesday, sick on wednesday through thursday. i missed people... very sad. but i got some messages (crazy long ones from nam... don't understand. but i screened them so you can't see em, so if you wanna read em tell me. they're a bunch of quotes and stuff.)
so i went and spent some time with manuel tonight. great... i missed him a ton. we had a lovely chat about what was bothering me (he should've just left it alone) but i'm ok now, nothing's wrong. (meaning, don't ask.) things are getting serious with us again, and i like it that way. but i don't know if it bothers him that we aren't "technical". it doesn't bother me, i like it this way. it's a lot simpler. it does make it confusing trying to get my dad to understand. he doesn't get why i want to spend so much time with manuel, when he's not my "boyfriend" but then, my dad can be pretty dumb sometimes.
man! band camp! one more day... that's insane. i can't believe the summer's gone already. that's... aah! i just can't believe it. where'd the summer go? this is sad... *tear*
uugh i'm soo tired. really long drives... not fun. so i think i'm gonna go crash soon. i'm quite tired... but i think i'll write first, i need to figure some stuff out. i wrote a ton on this trip. good thing i got a new notebook before i left... yay me.
well, i must say, it's good to be home.
Jul. 19th, 2004 @ 10:20 pm
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| » leaving soon... |
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we're getting ready to leave. :-( i'm gonna miss you all... *sigh* it's weird, i've never had a big problem with missing people when i've gone to the beach before... aah well. i'll be home soon... i promise.
bye bye...
Jul. 12th, 2004 @ 07:21 am
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| » this is fun |
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haha, i enjoyed that. yay me..
so i've been packed for the beach today (yay beach) and i'm tired of packing, so not gonna do it anymore. hah! aah i'm almost done anyway, i have to finish before we leave tomorrow.
well, since i probably won't write again before i leave... i'm gonna be at the beach till the 19th. so leave me comments of love and devotion, telling just how much you miss me. if you read this before i leave, and you want a postcard, leave your address! hmm, it's too bad i don't have a paid account on this thing. if i did, i could leave phone-updates. how fun! lol.
well, i will miss you all, my faithful readers (all two of you, i bet. oh well...) leave comments! bye bye.
Jul. 11th, 2004 @ 01:46 pm
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| » i need a new hobby |
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i've been reading all morning, including a few hours last night. finished my book. might be a new record, for a book i've never read before. only took me... wait lemme count... probly 4 or 5 hours. oh my god! i'm insane! how can i read that fast? i just don't get it! scary. and it wasn't even a small book (250 pages... pretty long.) but it rocked my socks off. yay! i ♥ good books.
it's almost beach time! *joy* i love the beach. not the swimming, really (i like pools better) or the sand (aaah! death to sand and it's tendancy to get in my sheets!) i just love watching the ocean. and there's nowhere to do that better than right in front of it. preferably on a porch, but i like standing in it too. can't wait... i want to go now, not monday. rahr...
i wonder if i can leave my away message up while i'm gone. is there a limit to how long it will stay up? i wonder i wonder... cause that'd be funny.
well i think that's enough updating for now. i'll probly write more tonight when i get home.
Jul. 9th, 2004 @ 02:12 pm
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| » good morning people |
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somehow i managed to sleep till 10 30 this morning... dunno how i did that! it's amazing...
i haven't been doing too much this week so far. it's been a few days since i've updated, but that's ok. i went to the lake as soon as i got to my mom's on sunday, and stayed till monday evening. it stormed big so i couldn't get online then. i also couldn't go outside, which sucked cause our air conditioner was busted. luckily that got fixed yesterday so now it's nice and cool. band wasn't too bad yesterday, we did some more dance stuff. i got put with the baritones and tbones, cause they're a bunch of dumb guys (jj's words) so that wasn't too bad, i got to make fun of tad and daniel. that's always fun... poor nam, he just could not pick up on the dancing. he was thinking too hard.
hmph, mtv is playing ashlee simpson and her dumb song. why, mtv, why?
i really want something to do. i'm so bored, and so sick of sitting at home all day. but what can i do? i can't walk anywhere, there isn't anything around here. i can't drive myself anywhere (no license/permit/car). this sucks! maybe i can come up with something and convince someone else to do it with me, and my mother to take me.
well it's breakfast/lunch/food time! yay! i also might go wake up my sister... fun!
Jul. 7th, 2004 @ 11:10 am
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| » fun quiz |
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20 Questions to a Better Personality
Wackiness: 456/100
Rationality: 34/100
Constructiveness: 52/100
Leadership: 460/100
You are a WEDL--Wacky Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you an anarchist. You don't give a damn. When push comes to shove, you just forget about it--it's just not worth the heartache. What this means for others is that dealing with you can be aggravating, because they find they can't get you motivated about things they care about. What this means for you is that you are happier, calmer, and saner then they are on their best days.
You are near-immune to criticism, and those who know you well acknowledge and respect that. You may come across as lazy, but the truth is that you find little to get worked up about. Regardless, you have slews of friends, because they are fascinated by your world view, jealous of your lifestyle, and drawn to the fact that you are hilarious to be around.
You are a pillar in a sea of hot-bloodedness. You have a sweet tooth.
lol! i think this is great... very funny. i don't know if it's really how i am, i can never judge my own personality. so if you think this fits me, tell me! i want some opinions!
you can take the quiz yourself if you want. here's the link
http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better+Personality&page=1
i'll probly write more later tonight about my day.
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 06:50 pm
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| » w00t! happy fourth |
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it's the fourth of july... so thrilled am i. *joy* see the sarcasm... yeah i don't think i'm really doing anything special. me and allie (who's home now) and dad and kathy are gonna go see shrek 2 (yippee). that will probably be the extent of my festivities.
goddamn! i hate my computer... it's pissing me off, so this is all the updating i'm gonna do now. i might do more when i go over to my mom's. her comp is incredibly slow, but it works!
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 12:16 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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i'm ok now. i had my breakdown last night, and slept on it, and i feel better. i'm still not happy, but i think i just needed the chance to cry, about a lot of stuff. mostly great-gram, but it ended up being about a lot of things.
i saw The Notebook today. it wasn't too bad. i love chick flicks, and this was a good one. very sad, but good.
it's pretty dreary outside today. so i'm gonna go read some.
Jul. 1st, 2004 @ 03:43 pm
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| » i hate death |
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i've been listening to "slipped away" from avril lavigne cause it's so pretty, but then i started thinking about the words, and then i started thinking about great-gram. so then i started crying and now i'm really depressed. she died the day before we went to b.o.a. last fall, and i didn't get to see her or anything before she died. no one else in my family thought of it as a big deal, because we knew she didn't have much longer (she was 102 years old) but it hurt me a lot. i'm named after her, and we've always been really close. it just killed me that my dad was talking to me before i went to bed and was just like "oh, i got a call from your grandmother today. you're great-gram died this afternoon." like it was no big deal. god... i miss her so much. we haven't been down to visit my grandma since great-gram died, and so i still have trouble believing that she isn't here anymore. i just can't believe that the last time i saw her she couldn't sit up and barely recognized me. i knew that it would probably be the last time i saw her, but what do you say? there's no way you can prepare yourself for it, and nothing can replace being there when someone goes... i hate that it still hurts this bad. i hate that i don't know if i ever told her just how much she meant, still means, to me. i hate that i'm crying for the upteenth time over this... i had my one big breakdown on the bus home from the last playoff game last fall (if you remember me crying a lot, that was why.) really, how do you get over something like this? i had gone so long without missing her, and now there's so many things that i can look at that remind me of her. i have a picture on my desk of her as a little girl, and a glass cup with her name on it that i got after she died.
why do people have to die? why do good honest loving people have to leave?
"slipped away"
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same, oh
I didn't get around to kiss you,
goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again,
I know that I can't,
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day, you, slipped away
Was the day I found
it won't be the same, ooh
I have had my wake up
Won't you wake up.
I keep asking why.
I can't take it
It wasn't fake.
It happened you passed by.
Now your gone
now your gone
There you go
There you go
Somewere I can't bring you back
Now your're gone
now your're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewere your not coming back
The day, you, slipped away
Was the day I found
it won't be the same,
No, the day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
I miss you
Jun. 30th, 2004 @ 10:37 pm
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| » rain rain rain... |
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man it just started raining really hard! yay.. i love rain. it makes me happy.
well my bass lesson got pushed back to 5 o'clock so i have an extra hour to practice. cause i didn't practice too much the past two weeks. and there's something i know i was supposed to work on, but i can't for the life of me figure out what it is! i hope it wasn't too important...
dood it's really raining... i love summer storms, they're so sudden.
well my computer is finally fixed, hopefully for good this time. cause if it breaks again i can't use allie's, i stole her internet thing cause mine broke. hehehe... but i think it's all good now, it's been working fine for 3 whole hours now. good sign...
ooh i hope manuel wasn't running before it started raining. i got a lecture the other day about the dangers of running in the rain. i didn't know it could kill you... maybe he was just exaggerating, but still. it wouldn't be too much fun anyway.
well i think i'll go practice. cause i do need to. or maybe i will be lazy and read or something, cause i don't particularly feel like practicing...
Jun. 30th, 2004 @ 03:05 pm
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| » i ♥ being an only child |
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it's soo nice not having to fight with allie all the time. i'm sure i'll miss her sometime before she comes home, but right now i'm loving the lack of annoyance.
and my daddy fixed my computer! now i have a firewall, so hopefully that'll fix all the problems i've been having, and all the spyware i've been getting. but the internet connection is much faster now! soo happy! but at least i can use allie's computer if mine screws up again. *crosses fingers against future computer screw-ups*
so i redid my livejournal again but i love love love it the way it is now, so i think i'll keep this one. it's just so pretty! and the layout is great. it took me forever to get it the way i wanted cause this one has so many customizable things to it. but i got to put a "blurb" along the side, and that can be as long as i want. isn't it awesome?!? leave me a comment and tell me what you think. hell, leave me a comment and tell me anything, i love that email i get when someone comments. so comment! now! thank you!
Jun. 28th, 2004 @ 08:41 pm
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| » wow, it's been a while! |
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so... let's see. what's been happening with me... not much, really. i went to the lake friday evening, and stayed till saturday afternoon. my lower back got pretty burnt, but at least it'll tan out so my back will be mostly even. yay for that!
i babysat on saturday night. and i'm really getting tired of it, cause i don't get that much money. i wonder how one would go about raising the fee? i don't know... i don't do it that often anyway, so it's not that big of a deal i guess. but really, 3 and a half hours with a baby who won't go to sleep, and i get $12.50? it's better when it's just me, cause then i get 5 bucks an hour. ooh well...
yea, that's about all that's been going on. i'm going over to dad's today, and allie's going to camp tomorrow (yay for only child-ness!!!) so i'll have to find something to do this week. i'm tired of having nothing to do.
well i'm gonna go paint some more. i dug out my watercolors this morning, and they're pretty fun, so i'm gonna go back to that.
Jun. 27th, 2004 @ 11:36 am
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| » movies are wonderful |
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in the past three days, i've watched so many movies! it's insane. well, maybe not that many, but still. quite a few. i saw van helsing, then yesterday i watched breakfast club (i love it!) and girl with a pearl earring (brilliant), then today i watched down with love (very funny).
but other than the movies, i haven't been doing much. i went swimming at notingham north today, and will probly go swimming again tomorrow, if it doesn't rain too much.
i love my glasses! yay for glasses, even if they make me look like a lawyer (which i don't agree with, manuel... >.noooooooo</b> the stupid venue is only for people over 18! rahr!
wonderful, now i'm in a bad mood. thank you maddie! no problem...
Jun. 24th, 2004 @ 11:23 pm
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| » jelly beans... yay! |
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i love jelly beans. whoever came up with these little things is simply genius.
well, today i actually got out of the house! it was amazing... but me and allie went to see van helsing, and that is a great movie. i don't understand what it is with kate beckinsale and movies about vampires and werewolves, but this is the second one i've seen. i guess it's a good thing both are so good! i liked underworld a lot, the parts that i actually paid attention to at least.
tomorrow i was supposed to go to the horse park in kentucky with my family, but it got postponed. so i might get to go see another movie. hopefully it will be the notebook, cause i think it looks so good! yea, i'm a hopeless romantic sometimes...
today at band (yay band...) we got to dance! yay! and it's fun, cause there's a flip thing in it, and i like it. i love love love it when we get to dance. i miss having dance class...
dood, i really need some good headphones. all of mine don't fit, don't work, or something. too bad i am completely broke... i hate not having money when i want something. normally, i like being broke cause noone can expect me to buy anything, but i hate it when i want to buy something. so if anyone wants to get me an early birthday present (august 9th in case you didn't know) get me some headphones. come on, it's my 16th birthday, i deserve a present.
well it's email checking time! yay!
Jun. 22nd, 2004 @ 10:06 pm
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| » my day was boring... |
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i need something to do! or someone who is willing to do something with me. allie never wants to do anything, and i can't play volleyball by myself.
but band is tomorrow, so that won't be too boring. and i get my glasses too. yay!!! i love my glasses. and i'm probly goin swimming at jarred's on thursday, so that'll be spiffy. i miss jarred! haven't seen him in forever, and just got to talk to him today. yay!
well nothing else to write about, my life has been mega-boring.
Jun. 21st, 2004 @ 10:30 pm
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| » today way dull |
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yea, it was a pretty boring day. i didn't do much... but right now i'm doodling with manuel, and that's fun. too bad my sis is watching The Mummy, cause i'm not too fond of it, but oh well...
yea i don't have too much to write about today... sad...
Jun. 19th, 2004 @ 10:20 pm
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| » today was a good day |
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i had a pretty good time today. me and allie went over to nam's apartment and hung out with nam manuel nick and ginger. yea, we watched kill bill, and i don't like it... too much blood. allie really enjoyed it though, heaven knows why. but it was loads of fun anyway.
that's pretty much the only thing that happened, but it was good.
Jun. 18th, 2004 @ 09:25 pm
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maddiek's journal